So I arrive at my MRI appointment at 9:05 (was supposed to be there at 9:15, I blame playing sports as anxiety on trying to never be late for an appointment. I know it drives my kids and wife crazy).
Last name please...what do you mean, you do not have my chart, okay, come around the desk. Um yeah your appointment was cancelled yesterday. I know that, and I pulled out my phone, and I was like, yes and look at 5:21 someone called from this number and said it was back on. Do you know the nurse who called? Nope.
So all the issues I had the last two days I thought were behind me (potential pun coming). You see before an multiparametric MRI you have to stop eating 4 hours before the procedure and only have clear liquids (liquids you can read a newspaper through). and 3 hours before you have to use an enema (see issues behind me.. get it). So imagine being hangry, full of clear liquid with a cancerous prostate, and recently enemanized (new word that I created). So um, yeah, I want to be upset because I'm hungry, but I need to pee every couple of minutes, and don't get me started if I feel like I have to fart.
Okay, went back to the waiting room. 15 minutes later and another nurse came in and they spoke. We are going to get you taken care of. You will be pushed back a little, I'm like, not a problem.
So 45 minutes late I get my MRI, 40 minutes of electronic jack hammering as you lay still in a tight fitting tube. The first 30 minutes were great, you do get head phones and music, but I couldn't hear a lyric. For anyone who has been floating you know the joys of the floating meditation. Well that's were I went, focused on breathing. It went smoothly. The last 10 minutes they pumped in some dye. Kind of a cooling heating feeling (icy hot patch) on my arm, then I can taste the pole from a Christmas Story for a minute or two.
Then the only song I could hear at the end, Gun's and Rose's version of Knocking on Heavens door.
I was in the car by 11:20 and quick stop at home, then off to the golf course.
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